Miss Manners: What do I say to their implication that my grandchildren aren’t real?

DEAR MISS MANNERS Between my husband and me each of us married previously to other people we have four children grandchildren and five great-grandchildren Related Articles Miss Manners I get vulnerable in front of a man and then this happens Miss Manners Don t they know that work email isn t private Miss Manners I just detected out what my mother-in-law has been saying about me Miss Manners I m heartbroken to think my friend sent this mean text to our whole group Miss Manners I got in a cupholder argument with another concertgoer Which of us was right We have been married to each other for almost years Six of the grandchildren and all of the great-grandchildren have been born during our marriage I am especially close to various of the grandchildren from his side of the family But when I am with a group of friends and mention something about the kids I am often demanded which of them are my real grandchildren I find that question to be extremely rude and I reply that we do not divide up grandchildren Is there a better way to answer this question I have thought about asking why the person wants to know or why it is essential GENTLE READER They re all very real last I checked What you need is an answer that shuts down that line of inquiry and Why do you want to know is not it You will only get a response of I was just curious which still leaves you in need of a presentable form of Well it s none of your business A quick-witted person might even come up with a different reason for their question say being intrigued by family resemblances which would prolong the inquiry If it were Miss Manners she would prolong it in a different way Let me think she would say Well Lily is certainly real She is finishing college and going on to take a master s Kyle is taking a gap year traveling in Asia and he is real Lauren is sort of doing that too taking a leave from her law firm while the triplets are babies all very real Jessica s husband can work from home so she went right back to work after each baby and she s realistic enough to make it work Garvin is going into business for himself which is scary but thrilling and nothing if not real Jordan is teaching high school you can t get more real than that Andre even works for a reality show Annabel works on AI in options I don t understand but she tells me it s the coming reality Madison had a rough time for a while but she plunged back into reality and is a wonderful mother and group activist And so on But that s the grandchildren The children are retired or reaching retirement and talking about what they really want to do now And you re allegedly wondering about the great-grandchildren Let s see Olga Oliver and Tommy he s named for my Tom plus Zelda and Sam Tom and I like to babysit so we know they re real all right Would you like to see them I have various videos on my phone Related Articles Dear Abby Is it wrong of me to be stashing away money so I can leave Asking Eric I think their wedding plan is disrespectful to my mother Dear Abby Do I have to change my eating habits when I m in constituents Asking Eric The mother was flustered by a seemingly simple question Harriette Cole I d go out with him if it weren t for this woman s immature meddling And so on for as long as attainable Miss Manners can promise you that there will not be a shred of curiosity left in those formerly nosy questioners DEAR MISS MANNERS I am planning my th birthday celebration I d prefer cash or gift cards to other gifts Is it OK to ask my invitees for money since I don t need anything else GENTLE READER And they perhaps have money they don t need so they might as well give it to you Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO