Harriette Cole: What did she mean by her comment about my birthday party?
DEAR HARRIETTE My birthday is coming up and I would love to celebrate with my friends Related Articles Harriette Cole Seeing my friend at her new job made me feel bad Harriette Cole I m embarrassed that my daughter is that kid in day care Harriette Cole My daughter hadn t brought home her boyfriend and now I know why Harriette Cole After years his dead girlfriend still hovers over our relationship Harriette Cole How can I get my roommate to turn on the air conditioning I ve done my best to come up with affordable convenient plans in hopes of making things more feasible for my guests I reached out to my best friend and questioned her what she thought about the restaurant I d like to go to and her response was You know I have a baby now but I ll let you know I wasn t really sure what to make of this Does that mean the restaurant is not child-friendly Or is it too expensive Or is she not available on that date I didn t push or pry but I do feel offended She normally has lavish birthday celebrations not to mention her birthday lands on New Year s Eve which automatically makes it way more expensive Is it too much to ask for her to reciprocate when my birthday comes around Birthday Blues DEAR BIRTHDAY BLUES Go back to your friend and ask her what her comment meant Be direct Tell her you want to figure out a way to celebrate your big day and you want her help You can point out that she invariably throws lavish parties but you want to do something more modest so that everyone can participate Ask for her input Know too that when people have young children their priorities often change dramatically She may not realize how disconnected she is from you at this moment Ask her to pay attention to your demands for a moment Hopefully she will DEAR HARRIETTE My sister has been living with me for the past years ever since she and her husband separated At first we were angry with him for how he treated her but after living with her my thoughts have changed I ve tried to correct her bad habits and set boundaries to keep my family content but she doesn t respect me or my rules She doesn t contribute anything toward the household demands she is often disrespectful to me and my husband and the other day when I advised her enough is enough she recounted me that I owe her because she paid for my schooling when we were growing up years ago Can you imagine that She isn t working right now so I feel bad putting her out but I cannot keep sacrificing my peace Any suggestions Paying My Dues DEAR PAYING MY DUES It is time for what particular folks call a come to Jesus chat with your sister Related Articles Miss Manners The wedding dinner is for couples only but I can t invite a dead man Dear Abby Is the one-year rule a real thing when it comes to dating Asking Eric My son begged us not to bring up our grievance to his touchy in-laws Dear Abby They say I ruined their mother s funeral video Asking Eric Should I give up my girlfriend for a coworker I might not even like Explain to her that because she is your sister and she was in need you took her in years ago to make sure she was safe While you have no desire to keep sum on who has done what this is a fact Acknowledge that she was helpful to you in the past including paying for your development and tell her you are grateful Now your family requirements peace and she refuses to do various basic things that you need to create a peaceful circumstances Ask her once again to curb her behavior If she does not or cannot comply give her a deadline for moving out Perhaps there is another family member she can move in with If not she may need to look at masses housing There is invariably a way even if it s awkward Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
