As a generation of gay and lesbian people ages, memories of worse — and better — times swirl

By Ashraf Khalil Associated Press WASHINGTON David Perry recalls being young and gay in s Washington D C and having an absolute blast He was fresh out of college raised in Richmond Virginia and had long viewed the nation s capital as the big city where he could in the end embrace his true self He came out of the closet here got a job at the National Endowment for the Arts where his boss was a gay Republican and lost my virginity in D C on August he says chuckling The bars and clubs were packed with gay men and women Republican and Democrat and almost all of them deep in the closet There were a lot of gay men in D C and they all seemed to work for the White House or members of Congress It was kind of a joke This was pre-Internet pre-Facebook pre-all of that So people could be kind of on the down-low You would run into congresspeople at the bar Perry says The closet was pretty transparent It s just that no one talked about it He also remembers a billboard near the Dupont Circle Metro station with a counter ticking off the total number of of AIDS deaths in the District of Columbia I remember when the number was three says Perry Now Perry a masses relations professional in San Francisco is part of a generation that can find itself overshadowed amidst the after-parties and DJ sets of World Pride which wraps up this weekend with a two-day block party on Pennsylvania Avenue Advocates warn of a quiet dilemma among retirement-age LGBTQ people and a neighborhood at exposure of becoming marginalized inside their own group It s really easy for Pride to be about young people and parties says Sophie Fisher LGBTQ initiative coordinator for Seabury Support for Aging a company that runs queer-friendly retirement homes and assisted-living facilities and which organized a pair of Silver Pride events last month for LGBTQ people over age These were the first people through the wall in the battle for gay rights and protections Fisher says Now they kind of get swept under the rug Loneliness and isolation The challenges and obstacles for elderly LGBTQ people can be daunting We re a society that really values youth as is When you throw in LGBTQ on top of that it s a double whammy says Christina Da Costa of the group SAGE Services and Advocacy for Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgender Elders When you combine so multiple factors you have a population that s a lot less likely to thrive than their younger brethren Older LGBTQ people are far more likely to have no contact with their family and less likely to have children to help care for them Da Costa says Gay men over are the precise generation that saw their peer group decimated by AIDS The impact chronic loneliness and isolation As you age it becomes complex to find your peer group because you don t go out to bars anymore says Yvonne Smith a -year-old D C resident who moved to Washington at age There are people isolated and alone out there These seniors are also often poorer than their younger brethren Various were kicked out of the house the moment they came out of the closet and being openly queer or nonbinary could make you unemployable or vulnerable to firing deep into the s You didn t want to be coming out of a gay bar see one of your co-workers or one of your students Smith says People were afraid that if it was known you were gay they would lose their measure clearance or not be hired at all In April founders cut the ribbon on Mary s House a new -unit living facility for LGBTQ seniors in southeast Washington These kind of inclusive senior-care centers are becoming an increasing priority for LGBTQ elders Rayceen Pendarvis a D C queer icon performer and presenter says older region members who enter retirement homes or assisted-living centers can face social isolation or hostility from judgmental residents As we age we lose our peers We lose our loved ones and specific of us no longer have the ability to maintain our homes says Pendarvis who identifies as two-spirit and eschews all pronouns Sometimes they go in and they go back into the closet It s very painful for particular A generation gap Perry and others see a clear divide between their generation and the younger LGBTQ crowd Younger people Perry says drink and smoke a lot less and do much less bar-hopping in the dating-app age Others can t help but gripe a bit about how these youngsters don t know how good they have it They take all these protections for granted Smith says The younger generation got at ease Pendarvis says and sometimes doesn t fully understand the multigenerational fight that came before We had to fight to get the rights that we have in contemporary times Pendarvis announced We fought for a place at the table We CREATED the table Now that fight is on again as President Donald Trump s administration sets the public on edge with an open way of life war targeting trans protections and drag shows and enforcing a binary view of gender identity The struggle against that campaign may be complicated by a quiet reality inside the LGBTQ district These issues remain a topic of dispute among particular LGBTQ seniors Perry commented he has observed that selected older lesbians remain leery of trans women likewise he noted chosen older gay men are leery of the drag-queen phenomenon There is a good deal of generational sensitivity that necessities to be practiced by our older gay brethren he says The gender fluidity that has come about in the last years I would be lying if I stated I didn t have to adjust my understanding of it sometimes Related Articles Edmund White dies at author of best-selling A Boy s Own Story was a pioneer of gay literature Cruel and petty and stupid SF leaders furious over plan to erase Harvey Milk s name from Navy ship What to know about fatal shooting of King of the Hill actor Jonathan Joss as co-stars pay tribute Harvey Milk s name to be scrubbed from Navy ship Federal prisons must keep providing hormone therapy to transgender inmates a judge says Despite the internal complexities various are hoping to see a renewed sense of militancy and street politics in the younger LGBTQ generation Sunday s rally and March for Freedom starting at the Lincoln Memorial is expected to be particularly defiant given the context I think we re going to see a whole new era of activism Perry says I think we will find our spine and our walking shoes maybe orthopedic and protest again But I really hope that the younger generation helps us pick up this torch